Jasmine: good design and small spaces are kind of a passion for me, so I was thrilled to discover Monika on Instagram, a Montessori mama and self-described “functional minimalist” living in an 800-square-foot studio loft in California.
Here is her interview:
Hello! I’m Monika.
I was born in Poland. My family immigrated to the US in the early 90s. I now live in California.
I’m a mama of two wonderful children, aged 5 months and 2.5 years. We try to live slowly, mindfully and consistently.
The journey of motherhood has taken me on a journey of learning about early childhood development and Montessori.
1. How did you hear about Montessori? How do you blend Montessori with RIE?
When I was pregnant with my first son, I asked myself how should I support his emotional, social and cognitive development? Somehow every google search eventually steered me in the direction of a product. But I wasn’t interested in what consumerism has to say about parenting. I was looking for something a bit more evidence based. That took me down the path of learning about early childhood development. (I recommend reading: developingchild.harvard.com.) However, I was still missing how to put theory into practice. I stumbled on an ad for Montessori materials. The sweet irony: it was a product ad that got me hooked on Montessori! The simple beauty of these materials caught my eye, and the rest grew from there.
My initial dive into Montessori was focused on the materials and the prepared environment. In parallel, I discovered RIE and only later learned that many of the aspects that I loved about RIE were also an integral part of the Montessori philosophy.
Without getting into the nitty, gritty of RIE and Montessori, I’d like to share some elements of both philosophies that we aspire to incorporate in our day-to-day lives:
- Respectful love: respecting the child, from birth, as a whole, capable and unique individual; respecting the child’s natural and unique pace of growth and development – similarly, not expecting things from the child, which they cannot yet do (whether it be physically, cognitively, emotionally, socially); respecting the child’s feelings – allowing them to express their full range of feelings and truly appreciating that those feelings are just as valid as yours or mine; respecting the child’s age appropriate choices. Children who are respected, learn to respect themselves and others.
- Freedom: to move; explore; self-initiate; discover; embrace risk; for uninterrupted play.
- Environment: (one of my favorite RIE principles, also very much in line with Montessori): “Preparing a physically safe, cognitively challenging and emotionally nurturing environment” throughout the child’s entire life. Don’t we, adults, need this too?
- Limits: providing firm and clear limits, but setting the child free within those boundaries.
- The spiritual preparation of the adult (a Montessori term): parenting with authenticity; focusing on our own intrinsic goals; observing the child to understand their interests, needs, pace and timeline.
2. You are a trilingual family. What tips do you have for introducing a second or third language?
When my family immigrated to the US, we didn’t speak any English. We always spoke Polish at home, despite the fact that my parents would’ve probably had a much easier time learning English had we spoken English at home. They gave us this beautiful gift – bilingualism. I want to pass that gift on to my children.
We’ve been following an adapted OPOL (one person, one language) method from birth. When we’re alone with our children, we use our native languages (Polish / French). When we’re together as a family, we use our common language (English). I’m not sure how this will play out when our children are older, but for now, it works.
3. I fell in love with your cleverly-planned spaces and modern art in your 800 sq foot loft. It’s a great example of how good design can make a small space work for a family of four. Please share with us how you’ve utilised your space so well.
It’s important to us that our home reflect a collaboration of people living together. We want our children view themselves as valuable contributors to our home so that eventually they will view themselves as valuable contributors to society.
Aesthetically, we wanted the “child” and the “adult” spaces to compliment and balance each other, so that neither children nor adults are overwhelmed. We also wanted to embrace our “functional minimalist” POV in our children’s spaces.
While our space grew somewhat organically, we tried to keep the following in mind:
- What are our needs and our children’s needs?
- What areas do we need in our home to address these needs?
- We loosely ranked these areas by importance and must-haves vs. nice-to-haves.
- How much space can we dedicate for each area? (For example: we didn’t have enough space for the IKEA kitchen hack; instead, we used a step stool for access to the sink (we eventually ended up getting a learning tower after a few nasty falls) and dedicated a shelf on our metal storage unit for our toddler’s kitchen tools and utensils.)
- We bear in mind longevity and multi functionality. (For example: we didn’t buy a single-level infant shelf; instead we directly bought a larger 3-level shelf.)
4. What are your children’s favourite activities currently?
My children thrive outdoors. We spend 5-6 mostly unhurried, unstructured hours outdoors daily.
At home, my baby enjoys scooting over to his brother and grabbing whatever’s in his hands. My toddler enjoys practical life activities, like food prep and cleaning.
5. Any final thoughts to share?
Perhaps my favorite quote about motherhood is: “When a baby is born, a mother is also born” (from Touching: The Human Significance of the Skin by Ashley Montagu). It reminds me that parenthood is a journey of lifelong learning.
Thank you Monika! Follow Monika here at https://instagram.com/mamamonia
If you liked this interview, here’s another with Hannah Lord, a Montessori-trained art studio owner, about art at home, for both 0-6 and 6-12yo children.