My eldest is 6.5yo. Contrary to popular belief, elementary doesn’t begin at age 6 on the dot but depends on the child’s readiness. You may see glimpses of your child’s transition to elementary even before age 6.
Many parents feel a sense of loss, when we think about this child that we have devoted the first six years of life to in giving her a Montessori home or education, now having to enter mainstream due to lack of Montessori elementary options in the area. Some of us fear that their love of learning will wilt, or witness the intrinsic motivation fade in mainstream education. I am one of you, as my child will enter mainstream elementary in the coming academic year. But after my AMI 6-12 training, I am optimistic and hopeful, because:
- the skills and love of learning the child has developed from 0-6 will serve him well in later stages of life (something known as transfer or generalisation of skills)
- I cannot change much about mainstream school, but it is within my power to provide a Montessori home that will meet his changing needs, while balancing and enhancing academic learning
A few characteristics of the elementary (6-12yo) child:
1. The absorbent mind gives way to the reasoning mind. This is most clearly seen by how the nature of the child’s questions change. Previously, my child would ask “what” or “how” questions in the first plane of development (0-6yo). He would want to know the proper names for things, and explore how things worked. Now, he is beginning to be interested in “why” questions (he may have asked “why” when he was younger, but it usually meant “what is its name” or “how does this work”). Questions of fairness and justice occupy him. Why are rules there, who makes the rules, and can the rules be trusted? He invents his own complex system of rules for anything and everything, such as a system between him and his sibling for dinner seating or lift-button pressing. Watch any group of elementary children, whether it’s at the playground or doing a project in class, and you’ll quickly see that they spend more time making the rules of their game than playing the game.
As such, the nature of my answers has to be different, because he won’t be satisfied if it’s anything less than mind-blowing. I tell him stories or facts with staggering numbers, so that he can be amazed. That amazement, ladies and gentlemen, IS love of learning. That is the flame we must keep alive whether our child is homeschooled, in Montessori elementary or mainstream-educated. And with his enthusiasm ignited, I then extend it by suggesting that we can find out more together, by checking an encyclopedia or asking a relative who might know. The key is not to give him answers to his questions, but to spark more questions to keep that curiosity alive!
2. The elementary child is more capable, robust and hardly falls ill. Where the first-plane child may have enjoyed having the smallest scrapes plastered, the elementary child does not like having a fuss made over her, as evidenced when my child got kicked in the face by a flying football and had a nosebleed, only to come home and tell us several hours later in the most nonchalant way: “oh X kicked the ball into my teeth and my nose bled”. Very casually.
But this doesn’t mean that they do not need our guidance anymore. One of the most important transitions to make is socio-emotional. I purchased a Feelings Chart from WholeheartedSchoolCounselling on TPT and added Velcro dots. I wouldn’t use this for a first-plane (0-6yo) child, as there are too many shades of emotions and the drawings are not extremely realistic, but I think this perfect for an elementary child who enjoys having many options and helps give voice to his range of feelings.
Here is a lovely book and a set of Feelings and Needs cards that would be more suitable for a first-plane child, if that helps to illustrate the difference abit better.
3. Rudeness. You may even have noticed that your sweet, loving child has suddenly become rather brusque upon reaching elementary age. This isn’t a failure of parenting, nor early puberty (I really dislike these stereotypes of different age groups, don’t you?). The child means no harm but simply has too many questions, so much curiosity especially around rules (the primary creator of which in the home is the adults).
On the flip side, the elementary child has a great sense of humour! Relate something gory, or disgusting, and they will laugh about it. Tell them a story, and even if you didn’t think it was that good or that funny, they will be your most appreciative, enthusiastic audience! Instead of coming down hard on the child, what has sometimes worked for us is to tell the truth in a comical way. We might relate an anecdote about someone who did the wrong thing and they will be quick to point out what exactly was wrong and how to remedy it. Where children in the first plane find it helpful to be shown how to do things correctly (see the demonstrations Montessori guides give, that are so enrapturing in their slowness and precision), children in the second plane love to find what’s wrong and pinpoint errors, especially those made by adults!
4. The last is that the quest for independence continues. The environment has to evolve so that the child can thrive. In my previous post I showed you how I am adapting my prepared environment for elementary work. We should also consider the practical ways the elementary child is ready to become functionally independent.
For instance, giving the child a wallet to practise paying with money and receiving change. You might eventually allow your child to go downstairs to buy butter, or perhaps drop your child off not directly at the school porch, but a short distance away so they can walk in themselves (dependent on your child, neighbourhood safety etc.)
There are also increased freedoms that an elementary child may enjoy. For instance, I no longer rotate materials as actively, but allow them to take what they need, provided they return it to the same basket after use.
I used to allow only one or two puzzles out at a time, but I’ve relocated the puzzles and board games to a separate shelf so they can work on them when they want. They once decided to do all the puzzles at once (see that desire to challenge themselves?)… and that was okay with me.
I hardly have practical life works on my shelves, and it’s no different for Elementary children. In fact, as long as they know where things can be found, we need not set up small stations or open displays anymore.
I’m running my Montessori Elementary Child course again this fall! It’s an online course that will equip you with an understanding of your growing child and how to prepare a home environment that keeps their love of learning alive. There are six video lectures, optional Facebook group, PDF workbook with cheat sheets, family activities and detailed notes, plus a bundle of Montessori-inspired printables for your child to use right away. You’ll have access to all these for the lifetime of the course e.g. indefinitely. I’ve had Montessori 3-6 guides, homeschoolers and parents of mainstream-schooled children join us from the world over, and I’d be delighted for you to be a part of it. Full course outline and testimonials here.
We may enrol our children in the best schools with the best teachers (many mainstream teachers are incredibly gifted and dedicated) — but they will always come back home, a Montessori home where they can challenge themselves intellectually, go beyond the confines of the subjects taught in school, extend their independence, but feel safe enough to let down their guard and express their feelings without fear of being judged or compared. It’s a phenomenal age, the second plane of development; enjoy your child!